Feeling alienated by your bizarre choices in personal hygiene? Tinder up a new friend and surprise them with this quixotic attempt at domestic science.
Here’s what ya gotta procure to assemble Fragrant Cheese and Pumpkin Smoothie on a bed of Delicious Tortilla and Spam:
- Pumpkin that’s somehow still leftover from Halloween
- Organic City® X-tra Tiny Ripped-up Tortilla Bits™
- Organic City® Chimichanga-flavored Tex Mex Glue™
- Cheeztown® Cheez-Smell Aerosol Deodorant™
Reassemble tortillas using Organic City™ X-tra Tiny Ripped-up Tortilla Bits and Organic City™ Chimichanga-flavored Tex Mex Glue. Can be handled in four hours. Allow 24 hours to cure completely.
Smooth pumpkin in dryer on Smooth Pumpkin setting.
Wrap tortillas around slices of Spam™ and arrange skillfully on a rustic plate just like you skillfully arrange your interpersonal relationships on the back burner. Lovingly spoon pumpkin smoothie in esoteric patterns over tortilla-wrapped Spam™ slices. Spritz with Cheezetown™ Cheeze Smell Aerosol Deodorant.
This would normally be enough for you and your date, but they never showed up, did they?