We get it, you’re really into illicit hydroponics. “We might also be.” But we’re not! On an unrelated note, come on downstairs to the co-op’s secret netherworld of perfectly legal activities and pick up everything you need to roll a few Stuffed Bass Fritters on a bed of Stewed Turkey and Hot Dog Smoothie.
Give the passcode: “I ain’t the goddamn cops,” and grab these:
- About two handfuls of bass from our illicit basement hydroponic fish farm
- About two handfuls of turkey from our illicit basement hydroponic bird farm
- 2.3 metric litres of Turkey Town!™ Organic Turkey Mylk
- About two handfuls of dog from our illicit basement hydroponic mammal farm
Stuff bass through the fritter attachment of your Play-Doh Fun Factory, which for some reason you still have, and didn’t think to clean before you used to make bass fritters. Fry, and set aside on an organic gluten-free 7-ply paper towel to drain excess grease.
Combine turkey with Turkey Town!™ Organic Turkey Mylk using a turkey combiner. Stew a teaspoon at a time with a lighter. Pour into the bowl you made in bowl class.
Blend dog until hot and question your life choices. Add to stewed turkey. Lovingly spoon bass fritters into this animal kingdom fracas. Consider starting therapy.
Serves you and all of your weirdo friends, which would just be you.