Fragrant Cheese and Pumpkin Smoothie on a bed of Delicious Tortilla and Spam
Feeling alienated by your bizarre choices in personal hygiene? Tinder up a new friend and surprise them with this quixotic attempt at domestic science. Here’s […]
Articles by Esmerelda Q. Jones
Helicobacter Pylori Surprise with Ancient Recipe Dumpster Sauce
You’re a footloose fancy free drop-out who’s not into the Law or washing your hands sufficiently or at all. When it’s your turn to make […]
Pan-fried Goat Slices topped with Creamy Goat Cream and Fancy Goat Chunk Red Sauce
Yer goat harvest is out of control again and if you leave one more box of goat on your neighbor’s doorstep you’re gonna get your […]
Tomato Haters® Tomato-flavor’d Home-brewed Ketchup Fragrance
$9.89 $1.89 3.3 oz. If you love Tomato Haters®, you’ll want to try their newest addition to the Tomato Haters® Tomato-flavor’d products. A statement from […]
Salted Chicken & Oyster DrinkTM
$49.89 $49.98 1oz. Now Vegan and X-tra Chicken varieties! Nothing says fancy like Chicken Sweat® Salted Chicken & Oyster DrinkTM. As the commercial that plays […]
Tumbleweed Taco® Mustache Ointment
$79.99 $34.99 .5oz. Hey Mustache Man! No joke, you’ve got the nastiest ‘tache on the block. Also it smells like you just rolled out of […]
So, Making Banana Wine is a Thing Now
Making your own beer’s a thing now, but what if you can’t find any beer grapes? Give up? OF COURSE YOU DO. If’n you can’t […]
Dried Grapefruit and Bacon Puree with a side of Goat and Garlic Muffins
Nothing says I eats food too, fuckers!!! like posting a picture of the fancyass stuff you put in your mouth so that your body works […]
Brown Lunch Meat tossed with Steamed Pineapple and Liver Pudding Pizza
It’s National Pizza Day and your enterprising ass decided to take the day off on principle. Woo-wee, you lost your job for a fucking pizza. […]
Islands of Orange-Perfumed Vegan-ish Pangolin on a Lake of Doobie Pudding
Our two-year wait to get Master Chef Cliff into our Dirty Hippie Coop test kitchen was well worth the wait! This Invitation-Only community event for […]